Out of all the gifts they have hoped for, they have received the one they were not really asking for.
It was a season of different stages. It was denial turned into rejection, and a bit of rebellion. It turned into a good realization of a divine revelation, and turned into full bloom of acceptance. The acceptance then, is another [complicated] story.
It was not just about accepting and receiving it. It was acceptance with a twist. It was a rollercoaster ride of different emotions of rejection, betrayal, pain and ignorance. It was a whole lot of different questions of how, what, why and are you sure? It was [and still is] a season of spiritual warfare, and spiritual warfare at its finest at that.
But now, I am believing it in my spirit that the battle has toned down, if not dying down. What’s left are the remnants of broken hearts and crushed spirits. But these broken hearts and crushed spirits are starting to be made alive again. For the giver of the gift, can make these dry bones live.
What remains in my heart is peace. Peace that’s beyond understanding. The peace that is not the absence of war, but the peace in the middle of a war – but I’m walking and fighting strong, because the giver of the gift is fighting for me. Now, I am receiving it in my spirit – the promise of His peace.
And I believe I cannot walk this journey alone, but as I walk this road with the promise, I cut off whatever unnecessary feelings there is and wait patiently, wait enduringly and wait with joy and hope because at the end of this road, is a beginning of a new one, a new joy and a new hope to a very promising future.
I wait for that day when I can love that promise fully and glorify the Lord with that promise. But as for now, I will ponder this revelation and this spirit in my heart and wait. I will wait with joy and with thankfulness.
This would probably be my first and last blog post about this matter. I will leave it as it is. The next post would be the beginning of a new story.
But till then. Till then.
I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart
– Love is Waiting, Brooke Fraser